knowing myself, joy in the journey and nacho!

1. I am taking steps to know myself these days. I think I have been in somewhat of a deliberate haze for the past umm, I don't know how many years. I have been recording truths lately, facts that true about myself and my excema like: food probably effects me more than I would like to admit, I don't do well at homes where there are pets, when I am tired I scratch, when I am anxious I scratch, etc. It's amazing how clear things can become when I am able to separate out things from this general haze of perpetual anxiety/scratching. Beyond the things I listed there aren't too many other triggers for my excema. So, if I was able to focus on those a little more intentionally, maybe that would help. That would involve me not going to people's houses who have pets and possibly declining food from friends or making other food choices which is never easy. But bottom line, I do want to get a much better handle on this for the long run, not just for this present moment. I want to see what my life can look like without this consuming haze.

2. My counselor reminded me this is a journey and that I need to focus on the journey. I agree with her. I don't think there is necessarily a destination to arrive at. Things are constantly changing, joys are coming at me all the time as well as sorrow. With so many unknowns in life with all the mysterious ways that God works, I can't count on a specific destination I want to end up at. But I do have some goals. I want to not be so controlled by this excema, I want to work hard at things, live simply, pour into Archer, create, worship, have FUN...sometimes I feel like my life is lacking in the fun department. I want to laugh with laughter that comes from a soul that is free! I want to be free!

3. Third thing for the day. Archer was Nacho Libre last night. It was great, even if just my family and a few close friends saw it. It was actually a step of healing for me to create his costume instead of giving into the anxiety of feeling overwhelmed at not knowing how to make it, etc. Naaachhhooooooo!