strongholds

the ups and downs of moving at the end of August

ups:
My mom making food for Archie without me asking.
Liz making us a surprise meal out of the kindness of her heart.
Liz comforting and encouraging me when I was breaking down.
A nice fan above my head blowing air on me.
My dad taking a day off of work to clean our garage.
A better day today than yesterday.
Coffee.
Kristina being a reliable friend who helps at a moment's notice.
My grandma and David coming to our house to be of use, so open and willing to help.
Marcy playing with Archie.
New mercies. Thank you, Lord.

downs:
Things all over our temp. house that need to find a home.
The HEAT! it's hot out this week! My skin is broken out and more swollen, we are so used to the AC.
Anxiety. My brain gets to a point where it can't do it anymore then I break down, get overwhelmed and scratch and feel awful about the whole cycle.
Feeling a little scared here, not knowing who lives around us.
Not sleeping well. august insomnia for me seems to be a seasonal pattern for me for some reason.
Feeling unsettled.
Not knowing where things are.

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But hopeful. I need to keep the big picture in mind. I am home wherever I am with my wonderful Darren and my beautiful baby boy. They make my heart sing, I love them so much. oh man, teary just thinking about them. This is therapeutic to just get it all out there. I feel like I am counseling myself right now, ha! Things will get better, Rachel. There is always good mixed in with the hard stuff.

transition

We are moving out of our house and renters are moving in.

In a week we will be in a new home a few miles west of here on Clinton Avenue.

In 68 days we will be on our way to India (!)

Then we will be living in Eden Prairie, and then who knows where (!)

Our dreams and longings of the past few years are becoming a reality. It's very bittersweet. Dreams and longings don't often factor in the hard/uneasy/uncomfortable moments that are involved in making dreams happen.

I didn't so much think about the actual moving process--the packing, the cleaning, the purging, the recruiting of people, the adjusting to a new space... What I thought about was not paying such a high mortgage, getting a different view, more space, a back yard, etc. Those things have all been fulfilled in living at the Thompson's house until we go to India. We will be paying next to nothing. We will have a pretty view out of the back window of the sunset, we will have a larger living room and we will have a back yard, complete with a swing set. God provides.

We will also be in a new area where many of the residents have less mula, play loud music, speak different languages, have looser reigns on their children. Maybe this is somewhat of a pre-cursor to India? I think of this saying when I have feelings of fear about where we are moving: "The Will of God Will Never Take You Where the Grace of God Will Not Protect You." I am really going into this move, claiming freedom from fear! I am determined to not be afraid, to claim and participate in the freedom we are offered through Christ. He has brought us to this home and answered our specific prayers, I need to trust that he will protect us and that this time of preparation for India in all actuality probably be really sweet.

More on all this later, I am tooooo tired to keep writing. Transition is tiring. Especially with at 15 month old! I am sooooooooo tired... but hopeful and very thankful.

gems

I feel like each day I read something...a little gem, a noteworthy post by someone. I take a nugget here, a nugget there...and I would like to keep record of these gems. I know not everyone would agree with these things that I think are gems, but that's ok. I am learning to see that I was created in a certain way, that I am specifically drawn to certain things and not to others and that is a beautiful thing.

So I will start with gem #1.

Sanctification through housekeeping, but more importantly homemaking: http://www.feminagirls.com/2012/08/08/on-never-being-done/

I hope to return to this article when I feel like I am comparing myself to someone who seems like they have it all together all the time...cause that is a myth. Our work is never done, and if we can train ourselves to view our work differently-- the hard work-- the endless dirty diapers, the caring for a child when you are dog tired, the mundaneness of things--, then it may feel a little bit easier, a little bit more beautiful if we can see that we are being sanctified in the process.

a blessing

last night, thinking about how today would go putting archie in the nursery, we thought it would be best if we got him up at 7 so that he could actually take a nap before church started at 10. last week, he was so tired while we were at church, he wouldn't stay in the nursery and he was a handful to carry around while the service was going on. it was frankly very tiring and frustrating. i just wanted to sit and listen to the sermon and have some time alone.

as we were hatching this plan last night, i doubted we would actually get up at 7 to make this all work like we planned. but, i think god, in his mysterious workings, did the work for us. archie got up at 6 this morning on his own (something he never does). he was wide awake and i was worried. i was worried because i did not want to get up then and it really didn't seem like he would go back to sleep. i pulled him into bed with us and he did lie peacefully with me for about 10 mins maybe. then, the little energizer bunny that he is, started standing up and stepping on us and messing with the frames about the headboard like he likes to do. good thing he is so dang cute! after about a half hour of keeping his half-asleep parents half-awake, i asked darren what we should do. he just said we should put him back to sleep. so darren got up and put him down. i doubted he would go back to sleep with how awake he was.

but lo and behold, he went back to sleep right away and slept till 9!!!!! i got in the shower before he was awake too. so awesome! it was just great.

this contributed to three ways that we were blessed this morning. He was well rested and able to stay in the nursery the whole 1 1/2 hours without expiring, this meant i was able to sit through the sermon by myself (darren was doing sound), and it meant that we were able to go out with a new couple after church without archie needing to be brought home right away for a nap. three great things we were blessed with by god. i believe god's hand was involved in waking archie from his sleep when he did, so these things could take place.

thank you lord! help us to look more often for the ways you bless us and care for us...in these small but significant ways.